Follow up to my poem "Memories of Broken Promises"

This is the lyrics of a song, which my friend Aishwarya pointed out to after reading my poem "Memories of Broken Promises". Please read the poem before you go through this song.

The Call - Regina Skeptor

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because every thing's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are as you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now, we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

Memories of Broken Promises

Life’s farthest from being normal rite now...
Just trying hard enough, not to lose it.
It has become like a see saw,
It keeps bouncing back;
Sometimes the emotions
Sometimes the memories
Sometimes the dreams
Sometimes the anger
Sometimes the hate
Sometimes the love
Just changes color n keeps hitting me back.

It’s a strange feeling now,
Donno if this is love,
Or donno if its hate.
All I had is all gone away now,
Wonder why the shadow still remains.
If this continues for long,
All I will end up is pain,
And yet these feelings refuse to die out,
And keep coming back again.

All I am left with are memories,
But donno if I should cherish them.
For, they were the most beautiful things to ever happen to me,
And yet today it’s the same memories that come and haunt me.
Am I guilty in running away from them,
Will I be forgiven for trying to forget them?

For I was lucky to ever have experienced that joy,
And yet today I feel so unlucky for having lost all I had.
Maybe the circle will come around,
But will it be worth it without my love being around?
What good are those memories if the one they
lead to has gone away now, and I am left all alone;
Salvaging the pieces of a promise; that never saw the light of dawn.



- Anant

A moment of peace

The most peaceful moment I felt in a long time, was last week,
It was 2:00 am at night, I was driving at night on the highway returning back from Tirupati. With my mission of having to be there and get a darshan accomplished against all odds, I was at peace with myself.

It was Thursday morning when I was doing my regular Puja when the idea struck me of heading for Tirupati, 12 hours and much persuasion later, I was on the road with my office colleagues, Nitesh and Vinod heading for Tirupati. With no prior appointments we knew getting a darshan would be tough if not impossible, but after 8 hours of driving when we finally reached Tirumalai, the hill where one of the most religious temples in South India exist, we were in for a crude awakening.

We were unable to get the tickets for the darshan, as the Special tickets were not available, and the regular tickets were computerized hence tamper proof, which means, all the tickets for the day were already sold off by the time we reached the gates. The only other darshan available was the free darshan, for which we would have to stand for a minimum of 12 hours on the queue.

After 8 hours of continuous night driving without a single minute of sleep, all we could see was a bleak possibility to get a darshan anyway. So we finally checked into a hotel and consoled ourselves that darshan was impossible, but just sitting by the side of the temple, alone in peace would be the next best thing that we could do.

So finally after down scaling our hopes we proceeded to the temple, accepting our fate that darshan would not be possible. We just wanted to cherish the moment, the moment of being in a special place, completely at peace with ourselves. I was just trying to figure out a way, to be at peace in my mind. And just then when we had all accepted our fates, something amazing happened. Suddenly we could see two elephants appearing outside the temple followed by a Golden palanquin on which lay the statue of Lord Balajee, the deity of Tirumalai temple. The god whose darshan we had come to seek. It was like a miracle to us, for here we were standing there accepting that there was no possibility of entering the temple to get a darshan and all of a sudden the lord himself appeared to give his darshan to his followers.

It was a special moment for me as I along with my friends had no idea that the idol would be brought out for the Aarati to take place in the open. No one told us about the event, and we had no clue that such a good long darshan, especially during Aarati would be possible. We had taken a risk by going too near to the temple without a ticket and finally our wishes had been fulfilled. I felt a sense of joy, a sense of happiness, and a sense of fulfillment. I had come for a purpose and against all odds, we lived up to it. Nevermind the fact that we couldn’t make it all the way on our own. We had travelled so far, drove all night without sleep, and the lord himself came out to bless us. It was a wonderful feeling.

So as I drove that night returning back from Tirupati, I was at a deep peace with myself. As I drove on the highway, cruising into the night. My companions lay asleep at night. All I had for my company there was myself. It was a great feeling, with my objective clearly in front of me, my destination clearly defined, there I was heading towards my objective, and I had nothing to distract me. I was all alone with my thoughts and my inner self. I had company and yet I was totally self-involved, enjoying the beauty of the night, the beauty of the speed, and lastly the happiness of making it to my destinations.

Sometimes the greatest happiness we can ever seek lay inside us. All we need is a trigger to unlock that happiness. The trip to Tirupati was one such trigger to give me a shot at happiness and a peace of mind after a really long time.